Maximal Perillus and the Reptilian Gauntlet
Written before a live studio audience.
Maximal just knew there was trouble. Besides, the contrabass F# swelling in the air was an ominous enough sign. He lowered his visors and ordered, “scan”.
In front of himself, he could see… himself, in all 16-bit glory, with the palm trees and full bushes lining the trail ahead of him. In this virtual reality, his elephantine muscular physique glistened and glimmered in every downbeat along with the irrational happy dancing of the foliage.
And, sure enough, when he panned to the left, he zoomed in to cause a sudden violin shriek- the boss monster was busily gliding in a figure-eight, alternately throwing snakes and exhaling pixelated fire!
“I’m not letting you destroy my vacation again,” growled Maximal, pushing his visors up. He leaped from his poolside chair, ignoring the complaints from other more self-focused sunbathers as the towel fell away from his body, exposing his love for sugary snacks.
He envisioned himself sprinting to the pool gate with an anime-like snarl and barely-moving background. In reality, he was moving just as fast.
With the pulsating bass of a 1980s-era synthesizer slapping his adrenaline, he attempted to jump over the pool gate, looked around to see if…
