This morning, while stupidly burning my head in the tropical Playa Del Carmen sun, I witnessed a most amusing scene. A young lady of maybe thirteen years was walking along the beach, enjoying a churro.
It just so happens that seagulls also enjoy churros.
The girl was cautiously and wisely monitoring her steps as she skimmed the moody tide. She took a bite of the precious cinnamon treat in her grasp, when she noticed the flotilla above her.
Barely a meter above her head were five seagulls hovering in a V formation, demanding tribute.
She clutched her delicious deep fried delicacy in defiance, letting out a slight gasp.
It just so happens that seagulls can smell fear. Or maybe feel it, I don’t know.
The lead gull decided the time was right to take action, and boldly swung forward to nip at the floury bounty.
The girl pulled her churro to the side, reprimanding the encroaching aviary pirates.
It just so happens that seagulls often confuse the word “no” with, “come on, try harder”.
With this unintended invitation, a wingman (ha! Get it?!?! I’m about as funny as Jimmy Fallon – -or…Jimmy Falcon. No? Ok. That sucked. I’m sorry. I promise to go back and delete it before I publish this story) attempted a less visible attack from the side.
But it just so happens that seagulls don’t understand the human field of vision. They only think about themselves.
The girl twirled to avoid the sneaky gull, and then another. Her vacation was clearly being ruined by these rodents of the beach, as she cried out to shoo them away, louder and louder each time.
Of course, these greedy and selfish descendants of the relatively well-behaved dinosaurs* interpreted her distress as an invitation, and soon there were more seagulls demanding their share of the mayhem.
*not scientifically confirmed.
At this sight, the girl gave up. She turned to run back from where she came, with a cloud of circling churro-predators streaming above her head.
After a few meters, she jettisoned the treasure, leaving the birds to quarrel amongst themselves.
When I left the beach, I noticed the girl safely back with her family, enjoying a replacement churro away from the feathery danger.
The moral of this story? I don’t know…don’t put your churros in one basket, maybe.